


Please don't go

by smaragdbird



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Father-Son Relationship, Goodbyes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7574044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aragorn and all his friends save for Gimli have died and Legolas finally makes the decision to leave for Valinor. Before he does he goes to say goodbye to his father and Kili.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please don't go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/8973.html?thread=19161613#t19161613) prompt

After so many years under Ithilien’s sunny sky and light forests, surrounded by the smell of herbs and the wind from the sea, his home seemed dark and suffocating. Even more than a hundred years after the Greenwood had been cleared from evil, the trees stood so tightly barely any light was penetrating the canopy. Looking up it seemed like a cloudy green sky with pinpoints of light in between them.

The damage done by the last war had become less obvious since his last visit but it was still there if one knew where to look for it. Still, compared to the empty halls of Imladris and the lessened magic of Lothlorien, Greenwood was thriving. 

The Old Elvenway had been cleared and he met more than one carriage on the way. Trade had been re-established on all roads, old and new. The eastern countries were prospering as well as the reunited kingdom and Rohan. A part of Legolas felt wistful as he thought he would like to see this brave new world develop but in his heart he had already made his decision.

“Legolas”, his father smiled warmly as he embraced him. As always Kili was by his side but Legolas was startled how much time had changed him. A hundred twenty years had changed him from a middle-aged yet still handsome dwarf to an old man.

“It’s good to be home, father.” Kili’s image brought back too many painful memories: Aragorn, Arwen, Faramir, Eowyn, Eomer, Merry and Pippin, they all had aged and died before his eyes. 

“Welcome home”, Kili said. There was still a warmth in his eyes that even war and loss had never been able to extinguish.

“Thank you.”

“I shall leave you two. After a hundred years you probably have a lot to tell each other.” His hand brushed over Thranduil’s as he passed him and Legolas’ heart clenched. Arwen had done the same and now she was...she was...

“How are you?” To others it would’ve sounded stilted but Legolas knew better by now, even if once he hadn’t.

“You haven’t heard it yet?” He could barely keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“Heard what?”

“Aragorn is dead.” It still hurt to merely think about it. “Arwen as well.”

“I’m sorry.” His father pulled him into his arms. “I’m so sorry.” They stayed like that for a long moment. His father smelled like the forest, leaves and earth and wood, like he had always done. Legolas knew the damage his next words would cause to both of them. But he knew it needed to be done. For over a hundred years he had resisted the call of the sea gulls, the rush of the waves. It was time.

“I will sail West.” There he had said it. He could feel his father’s arms stiffen as he pulled away from him. The look on his face broke Legolas’ heart as he had known it would. This was worse than leaving after the battle of the five armies, worse than telling his father that he was going to Ithilien for the near future, this was permanent.

“I assume you have thought this decision through”, he father said. “That there is nothing I can do to persuade you otherwise.”

“Father – “ He wanted to make this right so badly it hurt, ven though he knew there was no way. “Come with me.”

“I cannot.”

“Why not? Everyone else is leaving Middle earth. Why not you?”

Legolas had never thought of his father as old but when he looked at him now, he seemed ancient. Without a ring of power to focus his might, it was easy to forget that his father had seen a world where Ents roamed the woods and the sun and moon hadn’t yet risen.

“This is my home”, his father said. “I sacrificed too much to give it up.”

“But – “

“You make your decisions and I make mine”, his father interrupted him gently. “When will you leave?”

“In a few days. My ship is waiting in Ossiriand. But I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

/

He found Kili in armoury, fletching arrows. Despite appearances his fingers were still steady and reliant. When they had first met Kili had been the youngest dwarf in Thorin’s company, now he was the oldest and the only one left alive. His hair was white and his arm too weak to draw a bow anymore. 

“Finished so soon?” Kili said when Legolas walked in. “Those must have been a boring hundred and twenty years in Ithilien.”

“I’m going to sail west. With Gimli.”

“I see.”

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“When I still lived in the Blue Mountains I saw too many elves pass through the Grey Havens. I assumed sooner or later you would go, too.” 

Legolas had never considered that. For him Thorin and his companions had simply appeared out of thin air. And he had never been close enough to Kili to ask him about his past.

“You also talked about seagulls the last time you were here. I think I’m more surprised that you waited this long.”

“I had my reasons to stay.”

Kili gave him a kind smile. “I’m sure you did.” He shifted in his seat. Age made everything difficult, even the simplest things. “So Gimli will accompany you.”

“Yes, we’re the only ones left from the Fellowship and he’s a dear friend. Also he wishes to see Galadriel again.”

Kili laughed. “He certainly has a good taste but don’t tell your father I said that.”

After a moment of silence Legolas asked, “Do you think I’m selfish?”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“That I need to go. The sea gulls are leaving me restless and it only becomes worse from year to year.”

“I think our hearts know something we don’t. They may lead us to greatness or foolish things but to deny them is to betray ourselves.”

“Is that why you married my father?”

“You never asked that before.”

“No, but I think I know now why you would risk everything for it.”

“I married your father because I love him. Everyone tried to tell me it was a fluke, an infatuation, that would pass but in my heart I knew better. Your heart tells you to sail west then that’s you should do.”

“I feel like I’m betraying my father if I leave now. He’ll lose me and he – “

“ – will lose me too soon enough”, Kili finished for him. “Believe me I feel the same way, like I’m betraying him by aging and dying.”

“But you always knew it was going to happen. Whereas my father certainly never expected me to sail west. He hates Valinor.”

“My uncle once said the hardest lesson a parent has to learn is that children have their own minds, their own ideas. And Thranduil isn’t exactly locking you up in the dungeons, is he?”

“I still don’t think he understands.”

“My family never understood why I married your father. They accepted it eventually but they never understood.”

“Thank you”, Legolas said and he meant it. He and Kili had never been close but Legolas was glad that his father had him, however briefly, to make him happy.

Kili’s smile told him that he was understood.

/

“He’s leaving.”

“I know.”

“I had hoped…what does it matter?”

“You could go with him.”

“Never”, Thranduil didn’t hesitate with his response.

“I’ve seen a lot of Elves leaves. I always assumed sooner or later…” Kili trailed off. Elrond and Galadriel were gone, now Legolas was leaving as well and he knew he didn’t have long either. The idea to leave Thranduil alone pained him. The years of war had taken a higher toll than the years of peace had been able to heal so far. Kili always wanted to protect Thranduil even when he knew that Thranduil could protect himself better than Kili ever had been able to.

“As long as I live I will never set a foot into that land. They were the reason for the division of my people, lured us away from our home and ultimately caused its destruction. They present a beautiful façade but underneath they’re vile and rotten.”

“Legolas thinks differently.”

Thranduil stood up abruptly. “Because he’s young and foolish and has no idea what he’s – “He stopped and let out a self-depreciating laugh. “I sound like my father.”

“You sound like my uncle, too.”

Thranduil sat back down with a sigh and Kili laid his hand on his knee. “He follows his heart. That’s what we did.”

“That’s what frightens me. If he changes his mind he cannot come back. The valar would never allow it.”

“I didn’t change my mind”, Kili said softly.

“I know.” Thranduil rested his forehead against Kili’s and ran a hand through his hair. “Without him and without you, what am I supposed to do?”

Seeing him like this always made Kili wish he could somehow change the world just so Thranduil could be whole again instead of this broken, beautiful mess that he was. Instead he brushed Thranduil’s hair from his face. “What you have always done”, he answered. “You take care of your people and you live. All ancient evils are conquered and banished. It’s a whole new world out there. Perhaps you’ll even find another dwarf as handsome as I am.”

Despite the tears in his eyes, Thranduil managed to give him a quick smile. “You think it’s that easy?”

“I think it’s easy if you let be easy”, Kili replied, carding his fingers through Thranduil’s hair.

“I shall never understand the fascination you have with my hair”, Thranduil told him. He knew that hair and anything related to it meant a great deal to dwarves but Kili’s almost reverent look when he ran his fingers through Thranduil’s hair never failed to amuse him.

“It’s like gold and mithril blended and interwoven with silk.”

“A hundred and sixty years and you still flatter me.”

“Truth is not flattery”, Kili said matter of factly. “Or maybe it is a form of gold sickness and you’re the treasure I will do anything to keep.”

As far as compliments went it wasn’t a good one, but Kili looked at him like he was something impossibly valuable, like he was afraid to look away because if he did he might lose it.

“Don’t give up hope”, Kili said and pressed a kiss to his hair. “You’ll be fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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